I still remember the day as if it was yesterday. It didn’t start or end like any traditional love story. There were not any rolling meadows or hand holding by the crashing waves on the sandy beaches of Halifax where I grew up. It wasn’t a love that started in a dive bar where I was serenaded by a local folk singer.
No, this love was one of opportunity. One that came to be by the promise of what it could become. I was first introduced to Mr. Controlled Wood when I was in my early twenties. It was actually quite unexpected. At the time, I was actually smitten with Mr. 100% FSC Certification and had been chasing him like a girl chases her dreams. But Mr. Controlled Wood came to sweep me off my feet. Looking back then, I should have seen the signs.
Mr. Controlled Wood, or Woody as I liked to call him, was a great promise. He knew how to talk the talk and inspired me to follow him to walk the walk. He promised me a healthy future for the forest. A future that others wanted to be a part of! Once I started dating Mr. Controlled Wood, my social life soared. I was Miss Popular: The fluttering butterfly that everyone wanted to get to know. The big corporate men and women who never had any interest in me before now started to call me. They wanted to know all about Mr. Controlled Wood and whether he could work for them too. At first this was a welcomed ego boost. But slowly but surely it became too much.
As time passed I started to notice changes in Mr. Controlled Wood. He was spending less time with me and more and more with the logging companies. What bothered me most was the lack of change in the forest. All Woody’s promises turned out to be empty. The forest wasn’t getting any better. In fact it was getting worse. Woody was pulling the wool over my eyes. I realized that controversial wood was slipping into what was supposed to be the most reputable and trusted forest certification in the world: the Forest Stewardship Council certification (FSC).
Then it all came to a head. It wasn’t a dark day. It wasn’t a gloomy day. There were not any storms or crying babies. I was simply folding my yoga pants when Woody walked in. But he wasn’t alone. Holding his hand was a man I knew from television. The man was Mr. Resolute Forest Products. It turned out Woody had been cheating on me with Mr. Resolute. The two had formed a bond that could not be broken. Mr. Resolute Forest Products was using Mr. Controlled Wood to potentially allow controversial wood supply from critical caribou habitat and First Nations traditional territory to enter the FSC system. I found out that Woody’s weekday work trips were actually being spent at Mr. Resolute’s Thunder Bay Mill; the hub of the potentially controversial wood supply.
I was devastated. I realized then that I should never have given up my fight for Mr. 100% FSC Certification. I realized that while Mr. Controlled Wood started off as a good man and a promise of something different, the ways of Mr. Resolute Forest Products and others have changed him forever. A trust broken that can never be regained.
If you’re out there Mr. 100% FSC Certification, I love you and still think you are the best.
Read the full story here.
* Disclaimer- This is satire. For the facts read Catharine Grant's "Resolute’s Flawed ‘Controlled Wood’ threatens FSC’s credibility."
** all images from Microsoft Office free clipart