With the nuclear industry involved in a global push to lure skills and new blood into their workforce, we thought we would give them a rare break today and lend a helping hand to the recruitment effort. So if you are looking for an alternative to the civil service as the answer to a life time job – take a look at the advert below – lets face it – these guys are desperate for staff, they’ll never fire you – no matter how bad you mess up (once you never mention the safety).
JOB VACANCY: NUCLEAR WORKERS WANTED
Recent graduate? Looking for a step on the career ladder? If you are lazy and careless, then this opportunity could be just for you!!!
French based nuclear industry EdF and Areva are looking for willing young flesh (3500 apprentices for 2008 to fill a variety of positions to facilitate a nuclear renaissance but more importantly replace an aging workforce. http://www.world-nuclear-news.org/NN_Global_push_for_nuclear_skills_2910081.html
Ideal Candidates will possess the following:
• Strong ability to cover up industry inadequacies with spin (i.e. ability to attribute delays as ‘expected’ as the ‘global nuclear component manufacturing rebuilds the capabilities lost during recent decades of little nuclear build.’)
• Bad (preferably no) quality control skills – (for more information – see our track record on the welding difficulties at Ol3 – those violations went unaddressed for ages before we got caught!)
• Unwillingness to speak publically or to the media – yeah – we are pretty strict on this one!
• Strong ability to work without plans (especially regarding welding) and with no monitoring/supervision.
• No real consideration about your health – you could actually end up like one of the 100 workers only slightly contaminated at Tricastin in France, or 15 people were exposed to radioactive elements at the Saint-Alban plant or like in Japan where workers subjected to minor doses of radiation - but fear not, the symptoms are not unlike a very bad flu and we will give you the day off!
• Very bad resource and financial planning skills – in fact you preferably should not be able to do basic maths – in order to fudge projected costs of plants in a manner necessary to fool governments into believing that nuclear power is cheep and affordable. (insert here – too many examples to mention!)
These are excellent opportunities for individuals seeking to join an organisation which offers an unsafe working environment without any regard for workers rights, but which can offer you a wonderful career in lies and deceit- but the best news of all; is that you don’t even have to be good at your job – we’re not!
(This is a guest post by Sharon Mealy, Climate and Energy Assistant for Greenpeace International)