So, nuclear energy. It’s clean, we’re told. It’s safe. It’s cheap. It has the power to save us all say its friends. Did you know it also has the power to bring down governments, release criminals from jail, and make the seriously ill walk? That’s what they’re finding out in India right now.

A proposed deal between the Indian government and the US – which would see India given access to American nuclear technology – has brought the government to the brink of collapse. The Communist element of the ruling coalition withdrew from the government in a row over the deal. The government now faces a vote of confidence which could trigger a general election.

The scramble to win the vote and save the nuclear deal has seen the government planning to transfer three critically ill members of parliament to the vote. Nuclear energy works its magic once more.

But the miracles don’t stop there. Mohammed Shahabuddin, a member of parliament jailed for kidnapping, and facing further charges for murder, attempted murder, and extortion, has been given a holiday from his life sentence to attend the vote. Another MP, Rajesh Ranjan alias Pappu Yadav, jailed for his involvement in the murder of a trade unionist, was also allowed a few days out of prison to help save the government. It’s a delightful way for India to secure its nuclear future, we’re sure you’ll agree.

The objections to the deal with the US are many. P. K. Iyengar, former chairman of the Atomic Energy Commission, says it is not in India national interest, does not guarantee energy security, and puts the country’s energy production at the mercy of a uranium cartel.

Which just goes to prove yet again nuclear’s shortcomings when compared against wind, solar, and tidal energy solutions. We defy anyone to form a cartel that can corner the markets in gales, sunlight and waves.