Getting it on for the good of the planet

The Greenpeace Guide to Environmentally-Friendly Sex

Feature story - 10 September, 2002
Are you wondering what more you can do to help the planet? You take your bike to work, eat organic, but want to do more. At long last we have looked into one of humanity’s favourite pastimes and uncovered the passion that can make a difference for our environment. You can be a bomb in bed without nuking the planet.

Turn the lights off and feel your way to a cleaner, greener planet.

1. Turn off the lights. We all have to do our part to stop climate change, energy reduction and energy efficiency are an important part of changing our energy culture. If you want to see your partner, or what you are doing, have sex during the day.

2. Passion for fruit? If you like to use produce to get the blood boiling, make sure it is GE-free. There have not been enough studies on genetically engineered foods to know what the effects on our diets will be, let alone the affects of using it for more intimate activities.

3.Oysters and other shellfish can be potent aphrodisiacs, but our oceans are being destroyed at an unprecedented rate - we need to stop plundering for pleasure. Instead you can support sustainable community-based operations in the Amazon rainforest choosing from two popular and plentiful herbal and fruit drinks, guaraná and caju, for more than just a clean conscience.

4. Is your yard a safe place to do the deed? Forget about the nosy neighbours, are you using pesticides and chemical fertilisers on your lawn and garden? Would you really want to set your bare bottom on weed killer? Make the switch to natural fertilisers and pest management, and take a roll in the hay.

5. Forget the fossil fuel based lubricants like petroleum jelly! Esso's screwing the planet, but you don't have to.

6. Have you got something more than a good time up your sleeve. Could it be polyvinyl chloride? Ditch the PVC and vinyl accessories for your playtime. The production of PVC creates and releases one of the most toxic chemicals - dioxin. You also don't want to be sucking on that stuff. The use of PVC in young children's toys has already been banned in many countries. Instead, opt for accessories made from natural substances like rubber or leather.

7. Helping the planet can be an arousing activity. Soap up together in the shower or bath to save water and create passion for more than the environment. More than one billion people do not have access to clean water, it is a luxury, and should definitely be shared with a friend.

8. Ok, I'm not sure what you would use them for, never done so myself, ahem, but if you wanted some paddles for something other than rowing, please, for god's sake, make sure they are made from sustainably harvested timber. Look for timber, paddles, whatever, certified by the only internationally recognised ecological forest certification organisation, the Forest Stewardship Council™, or FSC®.

9. Role playing games can be fun as long as both partners are consenting and comfortable with the boundaries. So if you and your partner want to dress up and play "George Bush and Corporate America at the Earth Summit" or other S&M style games, agree on what's permissible and what's not up front. And remember that games - like fantasies - are not real life.

10. Make love, not war.