Don’t Believe Greenpeace

by Traitor Joe

July 2, 2009

Traitor Joe here. I figured out how to infiltrate the Greenpeace blogs. Ha, ha, ha. I figure, if I can deplete the oceans with my seafood purchasing practices, then, surely I can mess with the interweb and get a blog or two up on the Greenpeace site. It really was easy.

traitor joe

So, I’m here to tell you to just ignore what these environmentalists have to say about my stores. My freezer cases may be full of red list species, but I am asking you not to care. It is easy for me to trick my customers. I just tell them I care about the environment, throw on a hawaiian shirt so it looks like I am fun-loving and people just believe whatever I say. Suckers!

I hope you won’t bother checking out the new Traitor Joe website. It is exciting, interactive and kicks ass. You don’t want to educate yourself about red list seafood, protecting the oceans or how you can use your voice to save the seas. I mean, it’s almost fourth of July weekend. You shouldn’t send a singing fish telegram to Trader Joe stores asking them to be better stewards for the environment — you should sit back and watch reruns of my favorite tv show, Gilligans Island.

For your Fourth of July partying — hurry up and get to Trader Joe’s to stock up on red list seafood. My favorite fish, the chilean sea bass is a rare fish. There are so few left. I caught and mounted the last one I caught because it may have been the last.



Insincerely yours,
Traitor Joe

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